Been a while...

January and February have blurred by. With race cancellations my focus on running went away. I plodded low miles on the treadmill and outside here and there but with no goal it seemed pointless.

My focus shifted towards martial arts and my strength routine. I’ve put on a few pounds which I’m happy about, due to the strength work, and really been enjoying martial arts despite being virtual.

I’ve been doing a lot of eskrima, a Filipino martial art based around sticks and bladed weapons. It’s similar to the kali I do in Jeet Kune Do and compliments it very well. Very excited to grade and practice with people in the near future. Looks like the martial arts academy will slowly start to open up starting in April for the kids first, then adults in June. Can’t wait! 

Running. Hmmmmm. Well since I’ve been dragging around a minor foot injury for nearly a year I’ve decided to take a break and see what happens. It’s a great time with no races until late summer or autumn. I’m considering purchasing a smart trainer or power meter for my bike and taking a stab at online training and racing on Zwift to keep some fitness. It’s always peaked my interest and it seems like everyone is doing it. I love riding and racing bikes! It consumed my life through college racing for NAU in Flagstaff and even racing a season on the National Race series in the US. Older now, running has just been easier to work around life. Bikes take a lot of time but not so if you’re in the garage!  We shall see. 

Back to running. So, I’ve been chasing entries in UTMB and also the Tor des Geants for the past few years and considering the time frame I was essentially “due up” for automatic entry or at least “a lot of names in the hat.” However with covid cancellations last year things changed and the opportunity to race this year is up in the air but looked likely. So I entered the lottery for UTMB, the Western States 100 of Europe. 

And as I expected I didn’t get in. All things considered this is just fine. However more names in the hat for next year I’m happy I tried at least. Looking at lottery entries, carry over entries from last year’s cancelled race, I expected to not get in. 

So on to the Tor. After three unsuccessful attempts you are automatically in the Tor. I’ve tried twice now. Tor is a different race. UTMB is 100 miles around Chamonix France. A gnarly mountain race around the Alps. Tor de Geants is 205 miles (330km) and 75,000 feet of climbing. A totally different monster. It takes days to complete. Main issue is I’m gone to Italy for at least a week so it’s expensive and time consuming.  I’ve always wanted to do this race and figured, once again, I’d be shuffled to next year considering the rollover of entrants from the covid cancelled race last year. So I entered planning on an auto entry next year due to consecutive attempts. 

In general I’m not excited about running right now. Even if I’ve got entries into these dream races I don’t have any drive for them. Maybe that will come back or maybe I’m done with ultramarathons? This seems to be supported by how I feel right now after just getting THIS:

and.........

I’m surprisingly not happy! 😂😂😂😂😂 

I’d much rather do this NEXT year! I’ll admit I expected this result as the lottery entrants and rollover entrants didn’t even fill the race quota! I entered on the chance that I wouldn’t get in and the do it next year. Oh well. My mind isn’t in a place that I feel I’m missing out which is good so 98% chance I won’t be entering. Fortunately you enter after you’ve been chosen so I won’t be throwing away money,  just my entry. I almost think the post covid race won’t be the same experience anyway which shows considering the entry numbers.

So that’s that. (Well, maybe. I do have until April 30 to commit to the Tor!) I’m planning on entering a more local 100 miler, Cotswold Century, once the entries open. It starts about 30 minutes from my house and runs along the Cotswold Way. The race is in September giving plenty of time to train. It’s also a qualifier for UTMB which keeps that ball rolling! And not to forget I’m still entered in the Arc of Attrition 100 in January 2022! 

In Covid news kids are back at school after next week and I’m back to work probably in April. Strange times.

Boris got us in lockdown

Snap. We’re back in full lockdown. The night before the kids return to school and me back to regular work post Christmas it happens. England is shut down similar to the original lockdown last March. 6 weeks? 8 weeks? We’ll see. 

Kids are doing the home school thing but it seems a bit more organized and formal with more communication between the kids and teachers. It will be difficult again though working with two kids as my daughter, being special needs, does need almost full attention. The first day went well, let’s hope it stays that way. They both were psyched on the personal teacher messages they received. 

Hopped on the treadmill last night for a few miles which was good. I’m looking forward to getting outside though. I like the treadmill for watching videos but my system isn’t the greatest. I’ve got a smart tv on the wall but have yet to figure out how to get headphones hooked up to it. My computer is slow and old, as is my iPad, so it’s kind of pick the best shit from the pile! It’s been super cold for here and my daughter has been waking extremely early so morning running is out of the question for now. I do remember enjoying running during the first lockdown, it was so quiet, no cars or people. Bliss. 

Bouncing back quick with my strength routine. It’s surprising how much strength I didn’t lose with three months off and it always surprises me how little time a solid routine takes. 20 - 30 minutes. Been doing JKD every morning. Started putting on some meditative drum music and flowing with kali sticks. Called “karenza,” double stick shadow boxing is a common practice. It’s extremely relaxing and a fantastic way to wake up. Nothing better than a little coffee and karenza at 5am! 

Hardest part about these lockdown situations is seeing how much time I piss away on my phone and social media. I should be filling the boredom with productivity, not my phone, but with short moments of time throughout the day it’s hard not too. Also when you unknowingly crave social contact that’s the option it seems. I had deleted all major social media from my phone as it can really get me down but it’s back considering the lockdown. 

My day started a few hours ago, time to motivate the kids! 

Mental meltdown

I have been puking my mind out on here for sometime and rarely look back at what I’ve written other than race reports. A lot of it is me complaining about things, life stress. However, I’ve also put people down for seemingly no reason. It’s the oddest behavior and I’m wondering if this possibly has something to to do with my mental state, which I’ll talk about shortly, some way of coping with whatever. Wherever it came from I’m very sorry for this and feel like total dick, very unlike me. 

Speaking of mental state it’s been an intense couple weeks since my last post. Out of nowhere and no idea why I got hit hard with depression, negative thoughts ensued, and I end up talking to a few people from the mental health crisis team at the hospital. 

This has happened once before and I honestly have no idea why or where it comes from. In speaking with a mental health professional it’s possible I am extremely good at coping with trauma. However, that trauma doesn’t go away unless you talk about it. It’s “put on the shelf” in the back of your mind but never dealt with. After a while all these things build up and begin to surface causing these depressive episodes. 

My wife seems to think I’ve always had a mild depression, even before I lived here, which is also possible. I look back and think of how I was,  how I viewed life, among other things, and yeah, I could see that. I’m not discounting anything right now. I just want to get it sorted and be a better person. 

As my mind went south all running came to a halt. My head was not in a good place for a few days nor did my wife feel comfortable with me being out alone. I also just didn’t want to run. This all came at the peak of my training for Arc of Attrition. I had three 30 mile runs planned the week of Christmas and thought I was ready for them. 

After the fog in my brain subsided, fortunately Christmas Day was “normal,” I rearranged my training  and had everything lined up the following week. I just didn’t “want to” anymore though. I was like “fuck it,” 5 week taper until race day! I also had a solid feeling that the race would be cancelled. With so much of England under covid restrictions limiting travel a lot of the competitors couldn’t make the race anyway.

And yes, it happened. Rumors popped up on the Arc Facebook group and the RD made the call the next day making it official. They unfortunately were forced to cancel the race rolling all entries to next year. Good, bad, but the right decision. I wasn’t too bothered considering what I’d been through and having lost my drive.

Looking back I did realize I can train appropriately for one of these races. I managed, I believe, 10 twenty five plus mile runs leading up to the race. Previously leading up to other races  I’d ran maybe 3 twentys at the most. Very psyched on the Uphill Athlete plan I’d used.  I’d stuck to the program as best I could with the terrain I’ve got near me and managed to work around family and life. So all in all a positive outcome. 

I’m not sure what’s next now. It was a rare occurrence to actually have an event to look forward to. I’m in limbo now like everyone else. I’ve started up my body weight strength routine again, trying to focus more on Jeet Kune Do, and of course begin running again this week. The running focus as always is keep building that aerobic base and shoot for 40 mile weeks. Maybe begin run commuting to work again, at least while work is still on! 

As of Christmas Day my head has been in a good state. Prescribed therapy has begun and I feel good, but confused trying to sort it all out, wrap my brain around what happened and why. Many people are concerned which is great, but I feel like I’ve done something wrong. I’m looking forward to straightening it all out and becoming a better person, husband, and dad. I’m really curious as to how this has been affecting me over the long term. So on with another journey in life. 

Long run 1 of 3.

It was a scheduled for today. Sunday. The wife was having a few drinks last night and somehow broke her finger/hand. It happens! 

I got her rings off with some dental floss compressing the swelling before it was too late, took her in to the doctor, X-ray reveals a break. No long run today. 

I do have tomorrow, Monday, available however she has a broken hand and two kids to deal with it’s best if I stay in. 

Place your bets, race or no race due to Covid? Rumors abound we’ll be in lockdown for January.  Not sure how I’ll feel after committing a solid 20 weeks of training for nothing. It’s not even like I was running somewhere cool! 

Time is still moving fast. The kids are off school after tomorrow and I’m off work to watch them. I’m anxious about my upcoming training. I have three long runs scheduled over the Christmas break. The wife has agreed it’s ok for me to disappear those three days for 4-5 hours. I’m preparing myself to run at night just in case.

Previous photo, no fog

This kitchen project is beginning again. The new cabinets arrive Saturday so I’m off work to help pick them up with the carpenter and I’d assume we’ll start building them. I have a long run planned for Sunday so it’s safe to assume I won’t be running as promised during the day. There’s one night run. Ugh. Not looking forward to muddy trails, in the dark, for 4-5 hours. Fingers crossed the carpenter can’t do Sunday. On a positive note a shitty night run is great practice for race day! 

Logging road

Training is becoming tiresome. I’d expected this running the same route over and over in order to get the hills in. It is about this time when you are ready to be done, you’re tired, and need a solid break. That solid break will come early to mid January in the form of a reduction in training load and finally a taper. The ultimate goal to arrive at the starting line rested and having your body fully absorbed the training. 

Used this one for work

After these three closely spaced long runs over Christmas I have a rest week, and then the peak workouts I’d say are two days, back to back 30 - 32 miles.  I’ll take work off for these, then maybe one longish run of 16 - 18 miles. It’s funny running consistent 25 milers, anything in the ‘teens is just a regular distance and single digit runs, well, seem pointless! 

I got my first notification about the race with my number and what bus I’m riding to the start. It’s a staggered start due to Covid. I saw they canceled Arrowhead 135 in northern Minnesota which was a shame. Fingers crossed Arc goes on! Today they released the updated Covid restrictions and so far so good. 

Training continues.......

November into December

Whew, busy November. We were in lockdown so I was home from work. Fortunately the kids were at school and the wife working from home. So I got after it and did a ton of painting ceilings and walls, removed and rebuilt a cupboard in the kitchen to accommodate a new big refrigerator, removed the old fridge, repurposed the old fridge location as a pantry, removed and replaced the flooring in our downstairs bathroom, then a ton of little projects.....

 

Lame long run selfie

It’s been muddy! 

Ankle deep

Took advantage of the extra time during the day as well and caught up on sleep. The early morning running I love but it does wear me down. So a few shorter runs I normally do early I did in the afternoon. Besides there’s only so much painting in a 7 hour time span before you get dizzy! I feel bad saying it but it was great not being pestered by kids while trying to concentrate.

A little sun on the canal

Really fired up for this race. I probably mentioned this but previous 100’s I’ve only ran 2, maybe 3, 20 mile runs leading up to a race. I’m currently at 7 or so long runs and mostly 25 milers on hilly, muddy trails! Specificity! I’ve also been dead on with my strength and power work. Heard a podcast where a top women’s mountain biker said she only hit 80% of her training which was reassuring since I do get down if I miss workouts. I’ve only missed a couple long runs so I’m doing pretty good considering I’m training around family. 

Foggy morning 

Fog engulfing Stourport in the river valley

About 8 weeks until the Arc of Attrition 100 and things are going well. I’m finalizing my kit and have 4 big weeks of training coming up. Mostly two long runs a week. Then it slowly reduces down to a two week taper. As of now the race is going on but it looks like one threat is that if the covid goes up in my immediate area I may not be allowed to travel to the race in Cornwall. 

The UK has a three tier system that rates the severity of the infection rate specific to your immediate area. 1 low, 3 high. If you’re in tier 3 you’re not allowed to travel to lower tiers. Most of the country is in tier 2, Cornwall being rural is currently tier one. Fortunately we are tier 2 and it seems to be going down. Let’s hope it continues that way. I won’t be happy if a week out from the race after putting in all that training I’m not allowed to travel! 

So that’s where things are at for me. Back to work as of yesterday, running, trying to keep a smile on my face when I’m tired. In general everyone here has been in a good mood and happy. Been really nice, usually Christmas is a stress and I’m grumpy, must be the running!

Another week where life gets in the way. 

Our kitchen lights have been shit since we moved in. It’s an obvious DIY job gone wrong. We finally got the lights together and I finished painting the ceiling. The electrician arrives Wednesday and we’re expecting an easy fix. I’m also expecting to run an easy 7 - 10 miles so opt to not run early. 

12 hours of electrical work, cutting 5 access holes in the freshly plastered and painted ceiling, we only have 1/2 the lights working and I haven’t ran. I say “we” because the electrician is a friend and I’m there to help. He exposes an utter shit show of amateur work and plans to write out the circuit at home trying to figure out what the fuck this guy has done! 

A day goes by, I finish painting the toy room, and the electrician returns, today, Friday morning. I have a 25 mile run planned. 

I’m guessing it will be an easy in out within a hour. We have two lights to link up with the switches and the 14 other lights already linked and rewired. 

He’s got a few ideas, they don’t work. We then discover a hidden switch that has been linked to the other switch. The previous asshole didn’t have the correct wiring and used what he had,  using the earth as a live wire to link the switches! The reason why we ended with everything overloading. The friggin’ earth was live! 

So we end with answers, a plan to eliminate the dual switches, and a plan to avoid tearing apart the walls. He leaves four hours later leaving me with 2 hours to run 25 miles. Ain’t gonna happen.

Frustrated about training I motivate to at least get in 10 trail miles before the kids get home. I nearly just didn’t go. 

It was no one’s fault. It’s just an example of how life gets in the way. I struggle mentally with it though. It’s “just running“ says one side of my head, the other says “I need” to get the miles in! Training is going so well! 

During the entire run I tried to figure when I could run. Run 15 tonight after the kids go to bed, run early tomorrow and late at night, etc. the list goes on. I’m still toiling over it. It’s just running.