And summer is over. Kids go back to school tomorrow. It’s time. They’re ready. I’m ready. 

As much as I enjoy the six weeks with them it’s difficult. I fortunately have a job that allows the time off however no work equals no money so paychecks are super small for August and September. I also really struggle with entertaining kids and getting house duties done, prioritization. Yes, kids should come first, but I feel I have to fulfill my role around the house as well, and when I have time I can be very productive. My wife works her ass off so I try to get as much done around here to make her non-work time as easy as possible. So I take the time, unfortunately the time I take the kids are unproductive sitting on screens. Fortunately it sounds like our kids are better than most and actively go do other things but they definitely need to be entertained a lot of the time. It’s a struggle for me so I hate to say it but I’m glad summer has come to a close! 

In about two weeks I’ve got an ultramarathon to run. I wanted it to be a solid race effort but with summer my training time becomes difficult. The Cotswold Century, on Saturday September 18, is 102 miles with I believe about 12,000 feet of vertical, following the Cotswold Way from Chipping Campden to Bath. I’m comfortable with the distance and still want to properly train and race one of these! It seems to never happen though! We’ll see how it goes. I’ve got a huge base behind me, experience, a bunch of strength work, but a mediocre amount of long runs. I guess it’s a “B” race anyway with the Arc of Attrition in January, a much bigger, challenging, and competitive race. It will be fun to have an adventure as I’ve been yearning for something as of late! 

Early run near the beach in Prestwick Scotland.

Firth of Clyde near Brodick Castle, Scotland 

While in Scotland I did manage to get into the hills. I ran a 19 miler around the Isle of Arran. I woke early and my wife dropped me off at the ferry terminal. As always it seems the high peaks and ridges were shrouded in clouds so visibility was poor. I did manage to get off route of course which seems inevitable! I had to bushwhack a bit but got back on track.  It was nice to be out but these experiences are always way more fun shared with others.  It’s always crazy trail running in the fells here. I forget how different it is. The trails are rarely maintained, and routes are usually a lot more exposed than I expect. I ran from the ferry terminal in Brodick on the road, then up gravel track, single track, rocky steps, open grassland, through head height ferns. Scrambled up class 4 and 5 rock slabs, blocks, and a chimney! Way more fun with a friend! Sorry my photos aren’t in order, too lazy and being distracted by kids to rearrange them! 

Looking down Glen Sannox, Isle of Arran

Running along the ridge past Goatfell, Arran

Yes, there is a trail there!

Running up Glen Sannox, Arran

Wet chimney climbing up to the Saddle between Glen Sannox and Glen Rosa. I did NOT expect this! 

The Saddle, looking down Glen Rosa

Rock stairs going up Goatfell

More rock work

Yesterday I had my first Dacayana Escrima grading at the academy. It went very well. Fortunately I’ve been training with kali sticks in Jeet Kune Do for 7 years or so. The benefit to escrima is that I’m comfortable with sticks so just need to learn new strike angles, blocking techniques, disarms, etc.. The curriculum for escrima is much less than JKD so learning content is much easier. Not that becoming proficient is easier, as learning these arts is a factor of time. I did the first four grades at once which is pretty cool, this normally takes about a year if you are new to martial arts. Really enjoying these classes, so much that at times I’ve seriously considered stopping running and refocusing time spent to martial arts. Well, at least cutting way back on running! 

Start of the grading

Balla balla sensitivity drill

Sumbagay empty hand drill

Ekis drill

So that’s me for now. Back to more of a routine starting tomorrow. A few recent highlights I guess. 

And once again, been a while! The phone takes a back seat when life gets busy. I still like to update this so family knows what I’ve been up to. Sorry if some of this doesn’t make sense, I wrote it a week ago and have had to add and alter my grammar! 

Hedgehog on morning run.

So the UK is fully open I believe when it comes to Covid restrictions. It does seem like I know more people than ever that either have it or have been near someone who has tested positive and have to isolate! Kind of weird but whatever. 

Watering up during the heat! 

Kids are out of school so I’m off work until they go back. Just had a week of hot weather, around 90 which is super hot for here, so the kids played in the (not so) hot tub which worked really well. Unfortunately now we are back to rain so I guess our summer is over. Booked to go tool around on the canal on kayaks which was fun. We got rained on and everyone was a bit freaked out at first being in a boat but they seemed to get used to it and hopefully had fun.  

I had been running fairly consistently early mornings and attempting a weekly trail 20 miler leading up to Cotswold Century 100 miler in September. I love early morning running this time of the year. Temperature is perfect and there’s quite a bit of light. It’s going well I guess. I feel decent overall, but nothing like last fall when I was super consistent with the long runs. It sure was nice to have a day off from everything to run 20-30 miles. Hoping to do that again this fall. Fitting in a 3-3 1/2 hour run once a week around family is super tough. The exhaustion slowly builds up with the early mornings and life, and it seems it all is slowly crashing down. I’m tempted to pull out of the Cotswold Century because of it. I’d like to have a decent race but the clock is ticking. Sure, I could just run to run but just once I want to train properly for one of these, something I’ve never been able to do. 

Morning run in Scotland, Isle of Arran on the horizon.

We've been in Scotland since Friday which has been fun but tiring, I have been able to get running in early which has been good. Nice to just be out of town and to visit with family. Planning a running trip to Isle of Arran if I can figure out a decent ferry schedule. I was considering going to run part of the West Highland Way, but getting there via train, and only running the beginning non-mountainous portion I’ve swapped to Arran. It’s familiar and I know the ins and outs of being there so with a short window it just makes sense. 

Muay Thai grading.

Martial arts is going well. Back at it and training 5 classes per week! Had a Muay Thai grading which went well so I’ve finally moved up into the next higher group. I should’ve moved up a long time ago but Thai was never really a priority so I’ve skipped about 5 gradings. It’s really a supplement to Jeet Kune Do to improve my stand up fighting skills. Super fun class though but sometimes too intense physically. Some classes, and all the gradings, my heart rate is redlining and super high. After an early morning run, a full day, a JKD class, Muay Thai at 730pm can be a struggle. 

New armband in Muay Thai.

I also recently had an unofficial JKD grading. Myself and the other black belts took part in a lower level grading just to get back into it and see if we had lost any knowledge over the covid lockdowns.  It was super fun, stress free, and we all were solid in our skills. My friend Steve unfortunately missed out. He had a full day of concrete work and major gardening at his new house a few days prior and he messed his back up. He couldn’t take part which was a bummer. Steve’s a really good guy, super enthusiastic about JKD, and helped me out tremendously with my mental health issues over the new year. He still consistently checks in to see how I’m doing as well, which by the way is just fine. He was back training a week later which was good. 

I’m still going to Dacayana Escrima to, but only one day per week, it very much supports JKD and has improved my weaponry skills as well as my transitions from weapons to empty hand. Escrima is once again a Filipino weapons based art. We’ve got a grading in September I believe which will be my first in the art.

Prestwick beach looking out towards Arran.

As always it’s been a while. Busy times I guess. I actually took a step back from running for a bit. I just wasn’t interested in it even with long races planned for the future. I’m still running just no solid plan yet. Next week I may start a more structured training regimen. I’m currently in Scotland visiting family so figured take an easy week and then regroup! Photos are from running there. 

I’d been hitting the strength routine hard though. Every day with no days off. Only 25-45 minutes day. And as expected it paid off. I can once again do full hand stand push ups. I had been doing hand stand push up negatives for nearly 8 weeks twice a week. So only doing the lowering phase, no pressing back up, gradually taking longer to do it eventually lowering my head to the ground in 5-7 seconds. I always doubted focusing on the negative phase of movements, but wow, the day I finally tried a full hspu I did it with full confidence and it was easy. I even did 3 consecutive reps. I’ve also been continuing and progressing my burpees in preparation for my second degree black belt grading in November. I’m currently doing 7 sets of 10 burpees with ten seconds rest between sets 6-7 days per week. I’ve learned to love that movement. My push-ups had become boring and stagnant. I wanted to be able to do full range and fast. I was lacking the fast so started doing plyometric push-ups, sometimes called clapping push ups, that add in a component of explosiveness. It’s helped tremendously and I’m planning to add more plyo movements throughout my body weight routine. Really enjoying the strength work and it’s helping with my running as well. 

Martial arts classes are back in mostly full swing. I’m now training at the academy Monday night, Jeet Kune Do and Muay Thai, Wednesday, Escrima, and Thursday another back to back of JKD and Thai. So 5 classes a week. I try my best to train at home too but life always seems to push it to the back burner. I’m just attempting to at least do the bare minimum at home which many times builds into a longer session, and make it an easy technique session so I’m not all sweaty and worked up! Really loving being back and realizing the benefits of not only the arts themselves but the people I train with. Really excited for when all COVID restrictions are lifted and we can be more full contact. The Combat Submission Wrestling portion we currently can’t do but it’s surprisingly peaked my interest. The mechanics behind the movements are fascinating. CSW is a competitive sport using wrestling and grappling where bouts are won by submission. In JKD we use it as one of our ground fighting arts incorporating a lot of locks and takedowns that come from many arts such as jiu jitsu, judo, wrestling, among others. Search on YouTube for it, it’s really cool. 

My plant based eating has proven expectedly difficult in Scotland. Much like Minnesota a lot of options just aren’t available and I’d prefer to not be a burden to people.  So I’ve been treating myself to deep fried haggis among other pub foods! Definitely miss eating foods like that but for sure feel heavy and bloated from that and beer. I need to remind myself it’s alright and my body will repair itself once back to normal. It’s amazing though how different I feel, and not in a good way either! 

Big break from blogging. No photos really, no excitement, not much going on! Things here are starting to open up and trending back to normal it seems. Let’s hope it stays that way. I’m back to work in ten days or so and the academy is slowly opening back up as much as it’s allowed.

Still not stoked on the Tor des Geants so even though I have a few weeks to enter it’s unlikely I will. I am in the Cotswold Century as mentioned so I’ve got that to train for. I really feel I’m going away from ultras. The time commitment is a lot. Besides I kind of want to run fast, not just plod along forever. One reason is after playing with some really expensive equipment at work my running technique wants to go fast. I’m more efficient at higher speeds! I’m still wanting to run just unsure of competing. Either way I’m currently in a transition phase slowly growing my miles preparing for a base mileage phase focusing on the Cotswold Century in September. 

Strength routine is full on, 7 days a week! Not a lot, maybe 30 - 40 minutes a day but I’ve put on weight and have gotten much stronger. Kind of preparing myself for a Jeet Kune Do grading in November. It was recently dropped on us we’ll be grading for our second degree black belt! It’s nice to have a lot of prep time. The warm up requires 80 sit-ups, 80 push-ups, 80 jumping jacks (all no big deal), but the big one, 50 burpees! Keep in mind this is the warm up. The actual grading will likely be four hours and includes a lot of sparring in all disciplines; Muay Thai, Jun Fan boxing, boxing, combat submission wrestling, Silat, kali, knives, etc.... We have the tools now just need to flow them efficiently. Really psyched on this one. I really want to blow it out of the water so been training a lot and plan to do more as we’re allowed to train with physical contact in a month or so. My partners and I are already planning many private lessons. At home you can only do so much.

One cool thing happened yesterday. I may have mentioned I started dacayana eskrima. I dove in full on and hammered out curriculum as best as I could. Well I was rewarded! Student of the month!

Been a while...

January and February have blurred by. With race cancellations my focus on running went away. I plodded low miles on the treadmill and outside here and there but with no goal it seemed pointless.

My focus shifted towards martial arts and my strength routine. I’ve put on a few pounds which I’m happy about, due to the strength work, and really been enjoying martial arts despite being virtual.

I’ve been doing a lot of eskrima, a Filipino martial art based around sticks and bladed weapons. It’s similar to the kali I do in Jeet Kune Do and compliments it very well. Very excited to grade and practice with people in the near future. Looks like the martial arts academy will slowly start to open up starting in April for the kids first, then adults in June. Can’t wait! 

Running. Hmmmmm. Well since I’ve been dragging around a minor foot injury for nearly a year I’ve decided to take a break and see what happens. It’s a great time with no races until late summer or autumn. I’m considering purchasing a smart trainer or power meter for my bike and taking a stab at online training and racing on Zwift to keep some fitness. It’s always peaked my interest and it seems like everyone is doing it. I love riding and racing bikes! It consumed my life through college racing for NAU in Flagstaff and even racing a season on the National Race series in the US. Older now, running has just been easier to work around life. Bikes take a lot of time but not so if you’re in the garage!  We shall see. 

Back to running. So, I’ve been chasing entries in UTMB and also the Tor des Geants for the past few years and considering the time frame I was essentially “due up” for automatic entry or at least “a lot of names in the hat.” However with covid cancellations last year things changed and the opportunity to race this year is up in the air but looked likely. So I entered the lottery for UTMB, the Western States 100 of Europe. 

And as I expected I didn’t get in. All things considered this is just fine. However more names in the hat for next year I’m happy I tried at least. Looking at lottery entries, carry over entries from last year’s cancelled race, I expected to not get in. 

So on to the Tor. After three unsuccessful attempts you are automatically in the Tor. I’ve tried twice now. Tor is a different race. UTMB is 100 miles around Chamonix France. A gnarly mountain race around the Alps. Tor de Geants is 205 miles (330km) and 75,000 feet of climbing. A totally different monster. It takes days to complete. Main issue is I’m gone to Italy for at least a week so it’s expensive and time consuming.  I’ve always wanted to do this race and figured, once again, I’d be shuffled to next year considering the rollover of entrants from the covid cancelled race last year. So I entered planning on an auto entry next year due to consecutive attempts. 

In general I’m not excited about running right now. Even if I’ve got entries into these dream races I don’t have any drive for them. Maybe that will come back or maybe I’m done with ultramarathons? This seems to be supported by how I feel right now after just getting THIS:

and.........

I’m surprisingly not happy! 😂😂😂😂😂 

I’d much rather do this NEXT year! I’ll admit I expected this result as the lottery entrants and rollover entrants didn’t even fill the race quota! I entered on the chance that I wouldn’t get in and the do it next year. Oh well. My mind isn’t in a place that I feel I’m missing out which is good so 98% chance I won’t be entering. Fortunately you enter after you’ve been chosen so I won’t be throwing away money,  just my entry. I almost think the post covid race won’t be the same experience anyway which shows considering the entry numbers.

So that’s that. (Well, maybe. I do have until April 30 to commit to the Tor!) I’m planning on entering a more local 100 miler, Cotswold Century, once the entries open. It starts about 30 minutes from my house and runs along the Cotswold Way. The race is in September giving plenty of time to train. It’s also a qualifier for UTMB which keeps that ball rolling! And not to forget I’m still entered in the Arc of Attrition 100 in January 2022! 

In Covid news kids are back at school after next week and I’m back to work probably in April. Strange times.

Boris got us in lockdown

Snap. We’re back in full lockdown. The night before the kids return to school and me back to regular work post Christmas it happens. England is shut down similar to the original lockdown last March. 6 weeks? 8 weeks? We’ll see. 

Kids are doing the home school thing but it seems a bit more organized and formal with more communication between the kids and teachers. It will be difficult again though working with two kids as my daughter, being special needs, does need almost full attention. The first day went well, let’s hope it stays that way. They both were psyched on the personal teacher messages they received. 

Hopped on the treadmill last night for a few miles which was good. I’m looking forward to getting outside though. I like the treadmill for watching videos but my system isn’t the greatest. I’ve got a smart tv on the wall but have yet to figure out how to get headphones hooked up to it. My computer is slow and old, as is my iPad, so it’s kind of pick the best shit from the pile! It’s been super cold for here and my daughter has been waking extremely early so morning running is out of the question for now. I do remember enjoying running during the first lockdown, it was so quiet, no cars or people. Bliss. 

Bouncing back quick with my strength routine. It’s surprising how much strength I didn’t lose with three months off and it always surprises me how little time a solid routine takes. 20 - 30 minutes. Been doing JKD every morning. Started putting on some meditative drum music and flowing with kali sticks. Called “karenza,” double stick shadow boxing is a common practice. It’s extremely relaxing and a fantastic way to wake up. Nothing better than a little coffee and karenza at 5am! 

Hardest part about these lockdown situations is seeing how much time I piss away on my phone and social media. I should be filling the boredom with productivity, not my phone, but with short moments of time throughout the day it’s hard not too. Also when you unknowingly crave social contact that’s the option it seems. I had deleted all major social media from my phone as it can really get me down but it’s back considering the lockdown. 

My day started a few hours ago, time to motivate the kids! 

Mental meltdown

I have been puking my mind out on here for sometime and rarely look back at what I’ve written other than race reports. A lot of it is me complaining about things, life stress. However, I’ve also put people down for seemingly no reason. It’s the oddest behavior and I’m wondering if this possibly has something to to do with my mental state, which I’ll talk about shortly, some way of coping with whatever. Wherever it came from I’m very sorry for this and feel like total dick, very unlike me. 

Speaking of mental state it’s been an intense couple weeks since my last post. Out of nowhere and no idea why I got hit hard with depression, negative thoughts ensued, and I end up talking to a few people from the mental health crisis team at the hospital. 

This has happened once before and I honestly have no idea why or where it comes from. In speaking with a mental health professional it’s possible I am extremely good at coping with trauma. However, that trauma doesn’t go away unless you talk about it. It’s “put on the shelf” in the back of your mind but never dealt with. After a while all these things build up and begin to surface causing these depressive episodes. 

My wife seems to think I’ve always had a mild depression, even before I lived here, which is also possible. I look back and think of how I was,  how I viewed life, among other things, and yeah, I could see that. I’m not discounting anything right now. I just want to get it sorted and be a better person. 

As my mind went south all running came to a halt. My head was not in a good place for a few days nor did my wife feel comfortable with me being out alone. I also just didn’t want to run. This all came at the peak of my training for Arc of Attrition. I had three 30 mile runs planned the week of Christmas and thought I was ready for them. 

After the fog in my brain subsided, fortunately Christmas Day was “normal,” I rearranged my training  and had everything lined up the following week. I just didn’t “want to” anymore though. I was like “fuck it,” 5 week taper until race day! I also had a solid feeling that the race would be cancelled. With so much of England under covid restrictions limiting travel a lot of the competitors couldn’t make the race anyway.

And yes, it happened. Rumors popped up on the Arc Facebook group and the RD made the call the next day making it official. They unfortunately were forced to cancel the race rolling all entries to next year. Good, bad, but the right decision. I wasn’t too bothered considering what I’d been through and having lost my drive.

Looking back I did realize I can train appropriately for one of these races. I managed, I believe, 10 twenty five plus mile runs leading up to the race. Previously leading up to other races  I’d ran maybe 3 twentys at the most. Very psyched on the Uphill Athlete plan I’d used.  I’d stuck to the program as best I could with the terrain I’ve got near me and managed to work around family and life. So all in all a positive outcome. 

I’m not sure what’s next now. It was a rare occurrence to actually have an event to look forward to. I’m in limbo now like everyone else. I’ve started up my body weight strength routine again, trying to focus more on Jeet Kune Do, and of course begin running again this week. The running focus as always is keep building that aerobic base and shoot for 40 mile weeks. Maybe begin run commuting to work again, at least while work is still on! 

As of Christmas Day my head has been in a good state. Prescribed therapy has begun and I feel good, but confused trying to sort it all out, wrap my brain around what happened and why. Many people are concerned which is great, but I feel like I’ve done something wrong. I’m looking forward to straightening it all out and becoming a better person, husband, and dad. I’m really curious as to how this has been affecting me over the long term. So on with another journey in life.