The season is settling in and it’s affecting my head as it does. I think of the past when I anticipated winter. How everyone around me anticipated winter. The smiles. The excitement. The stories of what was and what was to be. The community I used to be a part of. All that is gone now. 

Now it’s just me. I talk to myself about future plans hoping to keep my head up. Any race or training ideas I come up with all I consider is 1. I search flights for 1. I consider crewless aid stations and no pacers for races. I hope and wonder if I’ll bump into a random acquaintance during a race. 

Social media just brings me down as you see what it’s like to be a part of “the community.” Whether it’s within the mountains, trail running, or skiing. I miss the buzz of excitement that gets passed from person to person. 

Sometimes I think it’s my fault for not changing with the times. Is it because of my attempt to avoid social media? Should I be more social and open like the rest of the world via technology? It just seems like too much time staring at a screen typing, wasted time staring at a screen typing when I could be more productive; doing dishes, reading, stretching, playing LEGO with the kids, etc.....

After a stressful morning the moment I step out of the car and hit “start” on my watch I’m happy. Sometimes I’ll have a podcast on, sometimes the hardcore NYC punk of H2O. So thankful for my run commutes, they’re mostly consistent and I can look forward to them. As much as I love early 4am running; the alone, quiet, and peacefulness, they wear on me.  During my commute I see the same people most mornings: the old man who greets me with a comment, a huge smile and a nod, and the guy with the crazy huge happy white dog. They’re the most consistent, rain or shine. 

Afternoons are different and sometimes tough to motivate for, but I tell myself there’s no reason not to run. They’ve become a random meander attempting to avoid muddy trails and people as I shoot for five miles on my way back to the car. Some days if it’s slow at work and I get out early I’ll get up to 8 miles in. The afternoon commute can be stressful because I am on a strict time constraint but I manage, sometimes finishing off my run doing laps around a rugby field near the car. 

Today the kids are off school so I’m off work and likely off from running. Hoping to fit in a strength session today which is usually fairly easy as long as I tolerate the interruptions. Already at 40 miles for the week with a goal of close to 50, so doing well. On we go one day at a time.