Blah.

Well after being injured most of the winter (and still am a bit), then being sick, I'm not really sure where I lie now. My running has been so inconsistent. I've dropped out of one race and am considering another. I just don't think I have the miles to race well.

I know I can finish the Malvern 50, so since I cannot get any money back I may as well become a completer and use it for training. I hate to say that because what an effort to go out, risk injury, and trash my body just to finish. Who knows though, I'm notorious for pulling races out of my ass relying on my past base miles.

However, my overall motivation has been depleted, I'm not really even excited to run. I want to eat like shit, drink beer, sit on my ass. I don't know what it is whether it's the shitty dreary weather, the little one's recent drastic change in her daily routine, inconsistent training, I can't put my finger on it but something has got me down.

So I trudge forward anticipating that first run "back" where I feel the spring in my step, I feel quick and strong, that run that puts a smile on my face because I know this is how it should feel. It's got to be near. Just before I got sick I was happily charging 12 to 15 mile runs at 6 minute per mile pace so when will it return?