I get so frustrated with myself sometimes in training for these races when the reality  is I'm 38, married, with kids. I do not have the required time to train properly to perform at the level I'd like however I think I can make it work. 

I can't. I can't and won't be able to until I get the morning back and a consistent sleep pattern. 

I work so hard to keep up this routine and then every few weeks it all crashes down. Consistency is lost. I'm exhausted from lack of sleep, forgetting to eat, or lack of time. I feel like I am able to carve out time, it's there, but when the motivation is weak that time is lost. 

I'm mulling all this over while trying to wake up at 2 o'clock in the afternoon in anticipation of a 20 - 25 mile run tonight after everyone is asleep. 25 miles is wishful thinking but with only running twice this week so far (16 and 6!) it really needs to be done. I'm not sure if I have it in me though. 

Two weeks until Snowdonia 50 so a bit early to taper since the past couple weeks have been shit but maybe it's the way it will be. 

Better rested than overtrained right? 

Got to go play Play Doh.