I was doing well and I've hit a low again. Why run and train with no ultimate goal? Yeah I guess long term there are some I've got but no intermediate steps right now. Until I have an answer to surgery for this hernia I'm in limbo and it's killing me. 

I hate to lose fitness, but the effort mentally it takes to get out, stay positive, and be happy smiley dad and husband is draining. It's even harder with little support. Saturday's are always good as my coworkers are always interested in training etc but otherwise nothing. 

This week was the UTMB lottery results as well. Obviously I wasn't in the draw, which is for the better with this hernia, but it still really brought me down. Also looking at 2015 it will be very hard to get any racing in most likely. There are very few fall races and I have no idea how my fitness will be or how long to get it back. Limbo.

I miss being around like minded people but don't know where to look here.